As I was editing Sarah & Dan’s wedding photos, I realized her classic beauty.  So I framed her this way instead.  Don’t they have that painting look to them?

A slide show of their wedding will be posted by the end of today.  Stay tuned…..

I took this from Kenny Ahn’s post.  I thought this was HILARIOUS!  This is a post on craigslist.

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly
beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New
York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million
a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is
middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at
all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives?
Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average
around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t
get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married

to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty
as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do
I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where
do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants,
gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt
my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?


- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper
east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who
have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead

gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the
story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer,
investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do
they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you
decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE
ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest

way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up
front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I
wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a

nice home and hearth.

And now, here’s a response from a guy.

Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have
thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of
your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who
fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s
how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is
plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the
B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party
and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade
and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very
likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you
won’t
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a
depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating
asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will
likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the
fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street
terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the
rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is
what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I
would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when
your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes
sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my
career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate,
classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar
daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you
are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the
way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t
need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say
you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this
is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me
know.

(My cousin took this picture)

This little guy gave me a glimpse to the joy of motherhood lately.  My
heart simply melts every time I see him.  I arrange my schedule
according to his feeding/sleeping schedule.  He’s been the joy of my
life. 

No, he’s not my kid….I wish he was.   
He’s my cousin’s baby.  I’ve always loved kids, but Marcus showed me a
whole other level when he arrived in this world.  I love him so much
that when I wake up in the morning, I would miss the way he smells, the
way he yawns, and the way he stares at me when I feed him….etc.  All
the little things he does that makes me happy.

I love rocking him to sleep.  I love how he sleeps so peacefully in my arms.  I also love staring at him while he’s sleeping, and waiting for his next expression while he dreams.  I love every little twitch he makes while he sleeps, just brings a smile to my face. 

I love the way he smells, even if it’s the residual sour milk smell from the last feeding.  I love the way he makes an “O” shape with his little lips and his pointy little chin.  I love everything about him.  I love the way he stares back at me when I’m talking to him.  I love the way he cries and I love the way he fusses when he’s tired.  All of that brings a smile to my face. 

I wish he’s my little baby.  Sometimes I get teary eyed when I think about him because he’s so perfect.  I am amazed at God’s creation and how amazing He made him.  He is perfect the way he is. 

(Please excuse my messy hair here.  I didn’t get a chance to shower that whole day because I had to take care of him.  Another joy of motherhood.  You don’t have time for anything when a little one is around.  It really doesn’t matter anymore because all you want to do is to make sure he’s okay and happy). 

Isn’t he just so cute??? 

It’s been such a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  I actually came home and made myself lunch instead of eating out with church friends.  This hasn’t happened in ages!  I always go out to eat after church.  But today, it worked out perfectly for me.

I wanted my vegetable soup really badly and suggested Soup Plantation.  I know that’s not a popular choice, but I craved endless vegetable soup.  No one wanted to join me.  I didn’t want to eat alone in a big restaurant, so I ended up going home.  Made a big pot of vegetable soup myself. 

I can’t tell you how therapeutic cooking is for me.  I loooooove having my own space, my own kitchen and just cook up a storm.  I might not eat everything, but I love to cook all kinds of stuff, especially healthy stuff.  It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, got the kitchen to myself and just enjoyed God’s presence in that kitchen while I cooked. 

Rick called and we started to talk about the possibility of me moving out at the end of this year.  While every thing’s still very much in the air, I can’t stop myself from dreaming about having my own space!  How mentally relaxing that will be.  Ahhh….. 

One of the possibilities is for me to move out to the Pasadena area.  I love that city!  But, my community is down south by North OC.  How will I continue to build my community when I’ll be so far away???  The community that I’ve invested and sacrificed many things for in the past 8 years of my life.  Especially now that I feel so close to my house church, I want to continue to nurture it.  So I was processing all these with Rick this afternoon.  If you know Rick, he’s the most encouraging and positive person I know.  He said that if I’m intentional about building relationships with people, no matter where I’m at, I’ll be fine.  He said he’ll have dinner with me every Tuesday because he’s always in Pasadena on Tuesdays.  He cleverly suggested that I can cook for him so he can eat healthier on Tuesday.  Hahaha, what a sly guy!  But honestly, I would very much enjoy cooking for my friend Rick.  I can totally see myself enjoying that, being able to share a meal with a great friend.  It’s one of the simple pleasures in life, but in return enriches and makes life amazing. 

It’s nice to dream about such things to give myself a little hope.  I look forward to cooking heaven one day.

Went to the beach with some church friends tonight, had a great time being cold and hot at the same time by the fire pit, ate lots of smores and toasted marshmallows.  I really should go to the beach more often.

I don’t know why, but I started to think about my first kiss on the way back.    It was cute.  It’s funny because the whole experience was actually really bad.  So bad that I made sure I didn’t kiss again for a long, long time, like 7 years long.  But now, 10 years later, reminiscing on the whole experience, him, standing on the pegs of his bike while he raced through campus, the way we flirted with each other, how sheltered we were, how we were each other’s first kiss….etc., etc.  All those memories bring a smile to my face.  The whole thing actually ended really badly and I was really hurt.  But I don’t know why, every time I remember him, I only remember the good stuff.  I think he was my puppy love.  I actually kept one photo of us somewhere.  I looked absolutely horrible in that picture.  But that’s the only photo I have of us.  We were cute together…at least I thought so. 

I guess all in all, I just miss the feeling of being in love.  I miss the reciprocation between two people when they’re into each other.  I miss just simply having fun with someone you enjoy and like.  I miss laughing with that person.  I miss laughing out loud about the stupidest little things in life.  I miss being in love. 

A while ago I posted a few head shots and asked people to vote because I couldn’t decide which head shot I liked the best.  Well…I finally made my decision and I chose #3, the above image.

Someone had made a comment that my head shots were too cute and playful, not serious enough to be used for business.  I thought the comment was such an interesting and foreign thought.  Although I see his logic in some sense, I also feel like he missed the point of a head shot by large.  That is why it made me think about writing this entry.

I wanted to learn how to do portraiture better when I got out of college, so I applied for an internship with a head shot photographer.  Although I only interned for 4 months, I learned a lot about head shots, why and how people want them. 

I honestly believe that head shots are one of the hardest forms of photography to master.  Mainly because how a photographer sees the person might be completely different from how that person sees themselves.  Even if the photographer shot the most beautiful photo of that person, if that person didn’t feel like the photographer captured how he/she felt at the moment or his/her concept of him/herself, then it’s a bad head shot to that person.  So to do a great head shot you have to learn about that person quickly and understand how they see themselves and capture that, which is really hard to do if you’re only given 5 minutes.

All the people that came through the head shot photographer’s doors were either actors or models.  People who wanted their head shots for a very specific purpose, to portray their personality or a character that they’re auditioning for.  So every head shot she took of them looked different.  They all had personality to them.  If they wanted to go for a younger role, then we styled them younger and made them posed younger.  If they wanted a more professional/business look, then that’s what they got.  If they wanted to be edgy and fun, edgy and fun it is.  You get the point.  It’s all about what they wanted for themselves, the purpose of the photo and how it will be used.  These head shots had to be different, they have to stand out because their head shots will be the only thing that’s left for the casting director to remember them by.  Not to mention, it’ll be competing against hundreds of other head shots that were submitted.  So it can’t only be a pretty, good looking photo of that person.  It has to have personality in them. 

So back to my own head shot.  (This might sound a little narcissistic, but I just want to explain why I chose #3 vs. all the other ones according to what I just shared). 

I went into the 5 minute head shot session with a very specific pose in mind.  I specifically wanted the holding my glasses look.  I had a very specific image in mind.  (That’s how I saw myself and how I wanted to portray myself). 

Scott captured that.  I didn’t specifically tell him the image of myself I saw in my head.  All I told him was I wanted a shot of me holding my glasses.  Then he then posed me and found the perfect angle and captured the perfect image I had in mind.  I also love the angle that Scott photographed me.  It’s the perfect angle that I had in mind, how I wanted to look.  It showed off my eyes, my glasses, the way my nose slopes, and I absolutely the way my lips look in this photo.  Most of all, it showed the exact personality I wanted to portray for myself.

The purpose of this photo?  I just wanted to use it for my blog or maybe even for my website.  Some might think I would need a more professional or business like photo for my website.  But seriously, I don’t want that.  I want something playful, something that portrays my personality.  I don’t want a boring, good looking head shot of myself with absolutely no personality showing.  Why?  Because I want my clients to not only look at my work, but also get a glimpse of who I am as a person.  I want them to know that I’m someone who can deliver the style they’re looking for, yet have this fun, playful personality.  Someone that they can have fun with, be relaxed with.  I want them to know that I’m as down to earth as possible, so I don’t look unapproachable or intimidating.  That’s the person I am and that’s who I want to show in my head shots.  I want my clients to get to know me when they see a picture of me. 

As photographers, we all know how important it is for us to connect with our clients, and to have our clients feel connected with us.  The relationship between the photographer and her subjects are extremely important to the photography that will be created.  It’s all about chemistry. 

So if they feel a connection with me or get a glimpse of who I am through my head shot, then it’s served its purpose. 

It took me forever to choose a slide show song for Karen and Lance.  I sampled soooo many songs for a few days straight, but nothing fits.  I finally stumbled across this song and just loved it because it reminds me of their relationship.  It’s very cute and beautiful. 

Have you ever been to a wedding where everything is so perfect that you just sigh inside?  That’s Karen and Lance’s relationship.  They’re so in love with each other and each other’s families.  It was just so awesome!  I wish people could have heard Lance’s mom’s speech to Karen.  It was just such a blessing to know that Karen’s well loved by her mother in law.  To know that Karen totally won Lance’s parents’ hearts over, tells you something about Karen’s beautiful personality. 

It’s couples like Karen and Lance that make me love what I do.  I get to meet awesome people like them all the time!  I feel so blessed to have been a part of their big day. 

Enjoy the slide show!

Have you ever felt like you’re so skinny that you’re about to die?  Okay, maybe not die, but at least fall over when the wind blows. 

I definitely felt that way this morning.  The first thought I had this morning when I woke up was, “wow, I’m so skinny!”  It was so gross!!!  I hate feeling that skinny.  I mean, yes, all girls want to be skinny and I do too.  But I don’t want to feel sickly skinny. 

This is the second time I’ve felt that way in my life.  The first time was a couple of years ago when I started fasting once a week because I wanted to gain some spiritual discipline.  I started to lose a lot of weight during that couple of months.  I think I only did it for like maybe 6 months???  So really collectively, I only didn’t eat for 24 days.  But I also started running during that time, wanting to be more fit.  Anyway, I guess the combination of that was not good.  So I lost 15 pounds within that time.  I just remember this one morning when I woke up, I felt so skinny that I started to worry about my life!  I weighed myself that morning and I weighed about 100 lbs.  Now, I’m 5’2”.  So weighing 100 lbs is really not that bad.  Yes, it is a little on the lighter side, but it’s not unhealthy.  But I don’t know why, I just thought I might die out of starvation or something.  So I got really scared and stopped fasting and I haven’t fasted ever since….

So since that time, I’ve gained back my weight to about 108 lbs., which is what I’ve always weighed during my high school years.  Okay, people, if you’re wondering if I have an eating disorder by now, I can assure you, I don’t!  I looooove food.  All kinds of food.  I love food so much that I can out eat guys sometimes.  So yes, I do eat a lot.  Lately, I’m always hungry.  So I’ve been eating almost every 3 hours, which is a lot of food if you think about it.  I guess because of that, I might have increased my metabolism, so I lost more weight lately.  I’m now at 104 lbs. 

But this morning!  I woke up and weighed myself because I felt so unusually skinny and found out that I weighed 101 lbs!!!  UGH!!!  How the heck did I lose so much weight?!  Plus, I’ve been sick lately, coming down with a cold or something.  So I felt sooooo weak this morning.  I felt like I can fall over if someone just tapped on me.  One of my friend from church was like, “wow, did you lose weight?  You look so skinny!!!”  I was like, “yes, I know, I feel grossly skinny.”  And my head was dizzy, ears all plugged and ringing, throat hurting while I said that.  Ugh, I hated this morning. 

So I had lunch with some friends, came home and ate again.  I just felt like I can’t let this happen to my body.  I have to gain my weight back!  I kept on eating…so now I’m back to 104 lbs I think.  To think that my stomach can hold 3 lbs of food is pretty impressive.   

I think I should really invest in a gym membership and a personal trainer.  I need to gain more muscle mass so I’m not so skinny all the time.  Or when I do lose a little weight, I wont’ feel so sick.  I don’t know.  I just don’t want to be skin and bones, that looks so freakin’ gross!  I hate looking emaciated. 

Plus, I don’t want to feel like I’m gonna die out of not having enough “storage” in me.  I live in freakin’ consumer land America.  It’ll be ridiculous if I really die because I don’t have enough meat on me. 

Grossly skinny….

&

Now Keira is much better….at least she’s got some muscles on her arms and abs. 

Scott took everyone’s head shot at our Missouri workshop.  So here’s mine:

   
1                                                                                   2

   
3                                                                                   4

I can’t decide which one I like.  What do you guys think?

Even though it’s been a little while, but I still want to blog about it because I’ve been very giggly lately.  No….I didn’t book a 10k job, and no….I don’t have a boyfriend.  But, I have a new dad! 

So a good friend of mine (who is a lot older) just told me recently that he wants to adopt me as his daughter.  (Not legally of course, but as my spiritual father I suppose).  I was thrilled when he told me that. 

So I’ve been waking up every morning smiling because I feel so loved that someone would want to make that kind of commitment to me.  Ever since I started my inner healing journey, which is about 5-6 years ago.   I learned a lot of things about myself, things that I never knew existed in my heart, wounding that I was never aware of.  They mainly come from my broken family background and my parent wounding. 

One of the main pain that I’ve been dealing with for the past 2 years or so, has been the feeling that I’m unwanted by anyone.  My mom left my family when I was 4.  When my dad remarried during my college years, he slowly but surely started to take my step mom’s side for everything, whether it makes sense or not.  For the past 2 years, I’ve often felt like an orphan.  Parent wounding is one of those things, no matter how old you get, they can still hurt you at the core.  There are many nights when I felt so sad while falling asleep, feeling so unloved because no one will commit themselves to love all of me.  That thought ran through my mind so many, so many times.  I think the commitment part was what meant the most to me.  Parenting is very much like a marriage.  It’s great when your kid is cute, but as we all know, no kid is cute all the time.  That’s when your commitment as a parent comes in.  You’re committed to loving this kid.  As for me, I obviously have a huge abandonment issue since my mom took off when I was only 4.  No committed love there.  My dad, although he’s done the best he can to provide for me materialistically, he’s very absent emotionally.  He’s obviously not standing by my side at all!  No committed love there either. 

So for my “older” friend to tell me that he wants to adopt me is HUGE to me.    I just feel so loved that someone wants the responsibility of parenting me!  My own parents didn’t even want that!  Every time I think about this, I just giggle inside.  Heehee.  I feel so loved.    I love you dad! 

I have to say that when I thought about the whole thing, I realized that God really does love me too.  He knows that I’ve been feeling the way I feel so he came to my rescue by providing my new dad.  It’s just one of those moments when I feel so loved by God because someone He sent loves me.  He provided someone tangible for me to experience His love for me.  Pretty neat.  He is my ultimate Father.    Seriously, I can’t fathom His love for me most of the time lately.  The way He’s been providing for me has been simply unfathomable.  His love for me is so deep that I feel like I can’t even contain all of it.   It’s a mystery to me….